A’s Heavenly Downloads

“One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother” Proverbs 18:24 (NIV)

A few weeks ago, I had an interesting conversation with a friend who sent me a message to say that she was feeling insecure. She explained that she  had been having negative thoughts, that things would go wrong in her new job that she was yet to start, and that her colleagues wouldn’t like her.

Her confession came out of the blue. I thought she was brave for identifying and openly calling out her insecurity, not least because our friendship was (and still is) relatively new. Yet it was timely.

I believe we all experience insecurity in one way or another, I certainly have (do), but perhaps haven’t been as open about it. Until now. 

I grew up feeling insecure. I think I may have had some form of social anxiety for most of my childhood into early adulthood. I remember, for example, rehearsing what to say on my way to the local shops in case I got tongue tied, or forgot what to say to the shopkeeper.

My friend’s decision to share what she was going through came just after I had fought my own mental battle against fear,  doubt, and feelings of insecurity – mostly around my health, so I felt equipped to support her. 

Four days earlier, I had listened to a sermon that focused heavily on insecurity and our identity in Christ, which helped me. The preacher spoke about  how they had grown up in a Christian household, but stopped going to church in their mid teens when they hadn’t yet developed their own relationship with Christ. The preacher had an element of self hatred during their teens and early 20s based on lies they had come to believe, but God rescued them, showed them His love taught them the truth about themselves.

Earlier on the same day that my friend messaged me, I watched a couple of sermons on YouTube about the war in our heads and renewing our minds to see things from God’s perspective and live with hope in every situation. I had also received a devotional specifically about insecurity, and another one the day before. 

Coincidence? No chance. There’s no such thing. 

Because of what I’d experienced I was able to be there for her to listen, understand and empathise, to pray for her, share with her, and encourage her by declaring over her God’s biblical truth about who she is and how He sees her.  

But equally important was how our exchange reminded me of another sermon that I attended last year, about authenticity and the need to be honest with ourselves, honest with God, and  honest with others.

That sermon focused on the following Bible passage:

“…God is light, and in him is no darkness at all. If we say we have fellowship with him while we walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin. If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” 1 John 1:5-9 (NLT)

The pastor highlighted that being  honest with God requires us to be honest with ourselves first. It includes identifying and expressing our full selves – our doubts, fears and emotions – to God and seeking his answers, rather than denying or suppressing them. 

God wants to connect with us. Living in darkness is akin to hiding from Him and His light. He wants us to come to him freely as we truly are, not as the masked version of ourselves that we present to others. He already knows us, loves us and wants us to know Him too, to have a relationship with Him. Before God, our Heavenly Father,  we have the freedom to be vulnerable. Jesus came not only to take away our sins and restore us to God, but to set us free in every way. He is our friend and brother, we can  fully trust him with our hearts, with anything good or bad. 

God also created us to be in community with each-other, in loyal loving relationships which require us to be open and honest. It is difficult to love a mask, or trust a secretive person who doesn’t share anything meaningful about themselves. 

Hiding things, pretending, or being false can leave us isolated, alone and vulnerable to attacks, including attacks of insecurity which, as I recently read in an article, can leave us disconnected from God’s plan and purpose for our lives. 

Our security comes from God alone. He has given us the greatest title through Jesus Christ – children of God and blessed us in so many ways with many good gifts. Insecurity can lead us to lose sight of our identity, to question our abilities, compare ourselves with others, to feel inadequate or incapable, compete with others, or seek the wrong approval and ultimately stagnate and limit us.

Choosing to walk in the light as Jesus is in the light by being more open allows us to experience fellowship with God and community with others more fully. Praying to God individually and collectively also brings freedom and forgiveness – we can confess and be cleansed from all sins through the blood of Jesus, including any insecurities resulting from a failure to trust God and believe in His power and goodness. 

“Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed..” James 5:16 (NIV)

It’s important to have people around us, or at least one person, that we can be fully authentic with and tell everything to. If you don’t have anyone, pray and ask God to give you community, bring godly friendships into your life, and show you who you can trust and share your story with. 

I prayed a similar prayer a little over 2 years ago and my life has changed. I now have a community of growing friendships, including the person who inspired me to write this piece. We regularly share with each-other,  pray for each-other, and challenge and encourage each-other to help us grow. 

If He did it for me, He can do it for you too. 

“This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us” 1 John 5:14 (NIV)

Jesus knows and understands us and what we are going through. He himself had 12 disciples, friends. Out of these he had an inner circle of 3 that he was closest with and shared more deeply with – Peter, James and John. 

Jesus also experienced the same emotions we do. He was open with his emotions and willing to be vulnerable in front of others about what He was going through in the moment, not just after the fact. He talked about and showed His love for others on many occasions, including when He healed the sick, fed the hungry and washed his disciples’ feet. He was full of joy (John 15:11 NIV). When his friend Lazarus died, He wept and was deeply moved (John 11:35 -38 NIV). He got angry about the mis-use of the temple – His father’s house (Matthew 21:12-13). When He was about to face the cross He said “Now my soul is troubled, and what shall I say?” (John 12: 27 NIV). He was sorrowful and troubled in the Garden of Gethsemane before His arrest (Matthew  26: 37 NIV).

It’s only really in the last couple of years that I’ve started feeling more comfortable with being myself and authentic around others. With the Lord’s help I’m discovering and learning to embrace who He created me to be, I am trying to be more vulnerable with Him and others, praise God. I’m grateful to our good Father for His loving kindness and patience and for His gift of friendship.