A’s Heavenly Downloads

(Wildflowers & Praise Pt. 2)

‘Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, “This is the way; walk in it”’ Isaiah 30:21

Today I am finally picking up and finishing what should should have been my previous post (Wildflowers and Praise), after weeks of not feeling able to expand on my notes following my trip to the garden centre.

So, going back to that Saturday, after paying for my shopping, I walked back to my car, packed my shopping away, turned on my engine to leave the car park and realised that my car was low on petrol.

I prayed. I can’t remember exactly what about. My notes say I prayed at that point, so I must have done. I definitely know that before I went into the store I prayed for God  to help me find what I needed & not get carried away in  spending money unnecessarily on buying things I didn’t need. And He being so kind and faithful, answered my prayers. I left with the 2 bags of compost  and a replacement plant and managed to ignore all the other beautiful items on sale at the store. So, my prayer could  have been to thank God for helping me to not get carried away, or perhaps a plea for Him to keep my car running, at least until I could find a petrol station. The garden centre was in the middle of nowhere. 

As I sat in my car I recalled a devotional that I came across earlier that morning, which likened living without Christ to trying to run a  car without fuel, or our bodies without food and nutrients. Jesus said: 

“I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” John 15:5

The devotional reminded me that God wants us to live abundantly and receive the life giving fuel that we need for life, which comes through being connected with and abiding in Him. Amen to that. The devotional said, without the Holy Spirit, we will burn out, wither up, collapse on the ground, and be good for nothing like a branch that’s broken or cut off from the life giving nutrients of the vine.

On the way home, the map directions on my phone app took me on a different route to my inbound journey, it happened to take me by a  supermarket and I was starving. I think that was definitely a God-incidence. I had skipped  breakfast that morning as I was eager to leave the house early to avoid the Saturday crowds and get home quickly to complete my other tasks.

I stopped at the supermarket and refuelled my body with some pastries before continuing my journey home. There was no petrol station there though, so I didn’t fill up my tank, but the car kept running all the way home with fuel to spare. Thank you Jesus. 

When I got home I spent a little time sorting out some vegetable seedlings that I had intended to plant out that afternoon with the compost I’d bought that morning,  but I didn’t make it out of the front door. I crashed, and ended up on the sofa totally exhausted and unable to move. 

I’d been feeling a little under the weather for a few days beforehand.  I felt overworked. Stressed. Tired. Stiff. Achy. To be honest I’d been feeling slightly off since I slipped and fell down the stairs at my sister’s house four weeks earlier, which also coincided with me stopping the hormone tablets that I was prescribed after the diagnosis. Maybe I started feeling off even before that due to trying to hold it all together during long periods of overwhelm. I’d been gripping on by the tips of my nails, instead of stopping to rest the way my mind and body needed me to. Either way, my body just stopped in its tracks that a Saturday and I felt as though my mind wasn’t far off,  but I couldn’t do anything about it in that moment. I was forced to stop. 

My plans for the rest of that Saturday went out of the window. It was so strange because I hadn’t done anything overly strenuous or stressful that morning.  Yet it felt as though all my energy was gone. Not only physically, but emotionally. Spiritually even. I had no motivation to do anything, let alone write. And I felt sad, upset- not necessarily at the situation, just an overwhelming sense of sadness and a little anger as I questioned why it was happening. 

My husband didn’t know what to do, and I wasn’t able to communicate what I needed or wanted either. I’m not sure that I even knew in that moment. He did what he thought would help by going out to weed the plot and water the existing plants. He took some of my seedlings with him, which have thankfully now been planted.

Discouraged, I spent the remainder of the afternoon lying on the sofa watching a TV program about news reader travelling around Italy. As  evening fell, I felt that I needed to write, but also questioned what to write about. I had nothing. But it had been a quietly eventful day, so there had to be something I could write? But my thoughts weren’t moving, my mind felt thick, like  heavy clay. I also didn’t want to work too hard, or write a lot.

I decided to take a step towards faithfulness anyway, to do what I could in that moment with what I had. looked back over the devotionals that I’d read that day and made some notes. I also sought God’s help through prayer and He being so good as always,  graciously showed me that He had been hinting at me all day with a topic to write about.

He reminded me of a time when I was close to running out of fuel on the motorway and how he rescued me with His directions. I started to write, but wasn’t able to finish. Instead I felt an overwhelming sense of gratitude and the desire to write a thanksgiving piece to recognise, in my own tiny, Insignificant way, God’s faithfulness. So, I will now tell that original story of how God moved in His loving kindness that evening on the motorway. 

It was in the evening. I was on the motorway heading back home from my mum’s. The drive home usually takes me about an hour. On the way to see my  mum I knew my petrol was running low, I’d intended to top it up before I headed back home but forgot to do so. I also forgot to check my fuel gauge before I set off.  I was about 40 miles from home and at least 20 miles or so from next motorway service station when  my car’s  fuel warning light came on with a loud “ping!” that made me jump. My heart sank. The traffic was moving fast and I wasn’t sure my car would make it all the way home. Panic began to set in and I prayed for God to help me.

Alongside prayer I was contemplating getting off the motorway and driving to the nearest town to find a petrol station, or somewhere that I could at least stop and search for the nearest pump on my phone. My car doesn’t have a built in sat nav, so I was relying  on an app on my phone for directions, which  wasn’t set up to work with voice control. You see I’ve only been driving for 5 years and my coordination is t the greatest so, apart from it being illegal to do so; I’m unable to use my phone whilst driving – especially at fast speeds down the motorway.

As I was thinking about which junction to exit the motorway I felt sense of calm and an inclination to just keep driving and get off the motorway 3 exits ahead,  instead of at the next one, which was the nearest one.

I’ve no idea why that particular junction came to mind. It was quite random and not an area I was familiar with, nor would I have chosen to drive there as the town is notorious for multiple roundabouts that are challenging  to manoeuvre. I was nervous,  but I’d prayed and the direction I got was so random and unusual, but  brought with it a sense of peace that it had to have come from outside myself. From God, His Holy Spirit, so I followed. 

Within 2 minutes or less of exiting the motorway and driving straight on the green lit signage of a BP filling station emerged ahead of me. Just what I needed, and it was on the same side of the road that I was driving on, so I didn’t have to carry out any stressful manoeuvres. Plus I could collect some loyalty points. Result! 

Exciting the fuel station and driving back onto the motorway was super easy too. I just joined a dual carriage way from the forecourt, drove straight on for a short distance and then looped around a single roundabout to return the way I came. It was the easiest and most straightforward detour, and I only encountered one single, easy to navigate,  roundabout. 

Interestingly I recently found out that you can be fined thousands for running out of petrol on the motorway.

God is so faithful and  kind. He isn’t distant, distracted, or indifferent. He’s aware. He’s present. He cares and is compassionate. I asked for help when I was in need and He showed me the way to go.  I used the gift of faith that He gave me and trusted Him to lead the way and He did. 

He directed me then, and continues to do so. He’s always there for me and will never leave me or forsake me. Even when I’m feeling rubbish, or unable to do what I need to do – whether through illness, or forgetfulness, mistakes, or neglect, like showing me the easiest route to petrol after I forgot to top up my fuel before a long journey.  He encouraged me to write when I felt like I couldn’t . He always has my back. He holds me: us,  in the palm of His hand.

Thank you father 🙏. 

 

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight” Proverbs 3:5-6