A’s Heavenly Downloads

A few days ago I was invited to look at the structure of Psalms 77 and how the psalmist shared his pain with God in a raw and vulnerable way, navigating from open lament to remembering and recognising what God has done, to declaring His praise and who He is.

The psalm was a reminder of the importance and power of remembering all of God’s goodness and blessings in our lives and how this can help to build faith and trust in him, even in the most difficult of circumstances. We can know and be confident in the goodness of God because:

“Every good and perfect gift is from above,coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.” James 1:17 NIV

With that in mind, I sought to write my own Psalm to the Lord in recognition of His goodness and kindness during  my own time of distress and emotional difficulties: 

Lord I keep crying and I don’t know why. 

I thought I was okay, but I may have burried it all.Everything feels heavy and overwhelming and, honestly  I’m scared. 

And I feel bad for feeling scared because You’ve given me no reason to fear whatsoever. 

When I look back over my life, even today I can see Your goodness and how much you care for me.You have delivered me from every single trouble, I know there is nothing and none greater than You. No situation that you cannot overcome.

My fear is not whether You can, but whether You will and ultimately that you might choose not to because I am not good enough.

It’s also that I may have misunderstood all Your reassurances to me. 

Is my focus all wrong? 

When my head was hung low, You said look up, and when I do, I see countless victories that You have won for me, too many to even try and recount.

You’re good, You’re kind, You’re Merciful.

You restore me and keep me safe.  

You provide for me, heal me, guide, direct, correct and lead me.You’ve never withheld your love or presence from me. 

I’ve seen Your power move so mightily in mine and others’ lives, Lord please forgive me for doubting, for forgetting in my heart.

I recognise Lord that You are in control, You work everything out for good and You will do the same forevermore.

I will choose to focus on Your goodness and not the seemingly daunting situation ahead of me.

I will choose to praise You Lord in all things.

I will choose to trust You. 

You are not a human being capable of letting me down. You are the almighty God, my father, my Lord and saviour, the one who makes me lie down in peaceful rest. 

The one who whispers in my ear and moves me in the right direction.

The one who showers me with blessings, sending countless little gifts my way for the sake of it and to cheer me up , whether or not I ask You. The one who gives me constant reminders each day that You are with me.

You answer my prayers, heal all my diseases, keep Your promises and encourage me always. How can You ever let me down. Who even am I that I could dare to think of You letting me down. 

You’re amazing and I love You. 

Thank you Lord.